Author: EmilyP

Warnings and threats have limited impact, and often does not prevent people from doing things they aren’t supposed to. In fact, research tells us that threatening does not encourage action but inaction. Fear immobilizes people, so they tend to choose avoiding the problem instead of facing it head on. Since people usually change their beliefs towards the desirable opinion, we should motivate people in a more positive way. This includes social incentives, immediate rewards, and progress monitoring.

We tend to compare ourselves with others too much, but it comes in handy in situations like motivation. People dislike feeling that they are inferior to others, so when they see others that are better, they feel discontent. Nobody likes being looked down upon or being underestimated. It ignites action and it drives people to be more like them, to do what everyone else does. They willingly push themselves to change and improve.

People are more willing to do something when they know they will gain something. They’ll tell themselves that their hard work will be worth it. This is also why people prefer immediate rewards over getting a benefit in the future. The future is unknown, but the present is predictable. When they see that their work pays off, they’ll want to work more. If they don’t see the results of their work however, they lose the hope and motivation to do more work, to change.

We are motivated when we see progress, as we feel that we are improving. It gives us a feeling of accomplishment, and it makes us crave for more. Hence, we continue to work hard to see how much more we have done and rejoice in the achievements that follow. So when motivating others we should highlight, emphasize their progress and not the decline.

When motivating others we should keep in mind that threatening them and making them feel wrong won’t change the problem. You should use positive means to lead them out, instead of unintentionally making the situation worse through fear. Focus on helping them make the changes and not leaving them on their own after stressing about all the problems they will face.

Thinking in a negative way is really unhealthy and can lead to depression. Pitying yourself, envying your friends, and thinking the world is just too unfair may make you feel better in the moment, but not in the long run. This kind of thinking or perspective weakens your mental strength, so it is important to not fill our heads and minds with these destructive thoughts. There are three main beliefs that we should be aware of, so we are not tempted into enjoying the momentarily comfort they provide us with.

The first is having unhealthy thoughts about yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself, and blaming outcomes on others. To escape  this uncomfortable situation, we decide to avoid it. This often prevents us from finding the solutions, as we are too focused on the problem and all the troubles it has brought. We get stuck in the same place, and it’s hard for us to move on. You don’t necessarily have to come up with a solution that’ll immediately fix what has happened though. You can take smaller steps at a time, and it’ll still make a difference. Over time the small differences become a big difference, and it’s way better than doing nothing except feeling bad for yourself.

The second is having unhealthy thoughts about others. This comes from comparing ourselves with others around us. The only person we should be comparing to is ourselves. How have I grown, or what do I do differently now compared with what I used to do? We let them influence our lives, when we should be the ones with the ultimate decision. We should not let them shape us, and give up the control over ourselves. 

The third is having unhealthy thoughts about the world. Thinking that the world is unfair, or that it owes us. Thinking that when we have accomplished something we will get rewarded, but that is not how it works. We should accept that, but we should not use it as an excuse to not try our best. This should not hold us back, and should not make us feel less about ourselves.

The only way to be mentally strong is to give up all bad habits like envy and strengthen our good habits like appreciation. We counter those unhealthy, negative beliefs with positive ones. Just because you have been through some tough times, it doesn’t mean your whole life will be like that. You are in control and you can change your life, your world. Once you believe that you can do that, you won’t be afraid of what future obstacles you’ll be met with, and nothing can hold you back. That is what a person with strong mental strength looks like.