One way to be more compatible and work with people in better ways is to watch for when you start to get defensive. There will be many warning signs that you are getting defensive, but these warning signs are unique to all people and they are hard to recognize, as they happen subconsciously. Being able to recognize when you are starting to become defensive will allow you to create a way to calm down, and there are many ways to find out what happens.
Probably the most obvious way is asking someone such as family, as they spend the most time with you and will know what happens when you get defensive. Another way is to find instances where you know that you were defensive, locate the reason why, and how you reacted. This would be a good way to find your own warning signs if you do not have anybody to talk to. This method could be flawed, as relying on your own memory might not help, as the peoples memories are not perfect.
One other way to recognize when you are becoming defensive is to know what you think about others, for example, if you think that someone is lower than you, you are probably going to be defensive if they try to give you feedback about some things. Something else that one could do is to look the setting of the place. If you are uncomfortable in an area, you are more likely to e defensive and not trust people. Knowing this can help you recognize when you are more likely to become defensive.
Finding out when you are being defensive would be beneficial in how you work with others, and doing so is would benefit others too, as if you are less likely to become defensive, they are less likely to become defensive.