In the Warring States period of ancient China, there were 2 philosophers. Their names were Zhuangzi and Huizi. One day, they were out for a walk, and they reached a bridge. Beneath the bridge was a pond, and beneath the pond there were many fish swimming. Zhuangzi exclaimed, “Look how happy the fish are, swimming around. This must be what it is like to be free.” Huizi retorted, “You’re not a fish, how should you know that they are happy?” Zhuangzi said, “And you’re not me, how do you know that I don’t know the fish happy?” Huizi debated, “If you put it that way, it is clear that I’m not you, so I don’t know what you know. But in the same aspect, you are not the fish, so you don’t know they are happy.” Zhuangzi said, “When you said that, you were already assuming that the fish are happy.”
This is one example of what being defensive and oversensitive can cause. However, there are many other results that are possible. Being defensive causes disorder and conflicts.
There once was a person who had a job at a company, just like other people who had jobs at companies. The person’s job was an admin. One day, the company got merged with a different company, and their admin was older and wiser. So naturally other people would choose the other admin as the merged company’s new admin. The person was forced to work under the new admin. For some reason the new admin didn’t like him. Then, the company’s front desk manager left the company, and since the spot was opened and the new admin didn’t like the person, the person got demoted to work at the front desk. Obviously, this was biased and unfair, but the person was forced. However, the person was reluctant to take that place because that person didn’t want to get demoted. In the end, that person got fired.
Do you think that was a bit harsh?
There was a time where I had to cooperate with a group of 3 other students for a project in class. At one point, one student started to complain about another student’s idea, and they disagreed with each other’s plans. Soon, the two were throwing angry words at each other. The debate got so loud it disrupted the other students from other groups, and other students started to complain about how noisy our group was, about how they couldn’t concentrate. The teacher was forced to stop the production of our project.
In the first story, Zhuangzi was just stating a thought and imagining what it was like to be a fish in water, Huizi just had to dispute, and in the end, he tripped on his own words. In the second story, the person overreacted to his boss’ decision, and although it was unjust, the person had tried to quarrel and refused to accept his fate. This led to his layoff, which proves that defensiveness can cause your own downfall. In the third story, the two students arguing had led to the project’s end, and no one got to work anymore. Even myself, who was not even part of the altercation, was affected. And other students in other groups were delayed or slowed down due to 2 students’ defensiveness to each other.
These three stories share a common moral: Try to be less defensive, and cooperating will go more smoothly and swiftly. When a conflict has happened, don’t keep on arguing. Instead, find a way to resolve the conflict. And in the end, make up to one another. If one follows these methods, they shall become a good leader and cooperator.